you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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