one might say we're banned from that church
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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