He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
