Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
