do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize