he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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