Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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