i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
