false alarm. still invincible.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
