No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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