We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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