Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
