this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
