if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
