You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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