I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Randomize
