i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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