So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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