Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
