And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
