remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
