I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
