you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize