We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
