why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
