Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
