So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize