How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
