remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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