So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
