ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
