doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
