well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
