i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my poor anus
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