Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
