I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
