I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
