so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
