Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize