mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
