Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
