and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
