Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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