I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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