we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
