I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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