You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
