let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
