it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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