I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
