Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
