Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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