I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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