Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
