you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
