"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
