I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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