So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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