I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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